Fruitful Baskets!

Just kidding. So, for this post I thought I'd do something a little different.

Lately, I've been reading this manga series that my friends recommended. Fruits Basket by Natsuki Tayaka. Please don't panic and leave this webpage yet! To be honest, I'm not much of an otaku (aka a manga fan...an obsessive manga/anime fan...). Although I DO really enjoy reading and drawing in the manga/anime style, I don't usually read manga or watch anime on a regular basis. But this story has a lot of good points, like any regular book might have. I'd recommend it for any interested kids aged 14 or 15 and up. (or maybe younger, as long as you stop around volume 14-ish)There are a few questionable details here and there, but the overall story is excellent and provides a lot of extra reflection.

Anyway.
This story is about a teenage optimistic and sweet, innocent orphan girl who lives with another troubled family. A family with a curse. Whenever a family member is hugged by someone of the opposite gender, they turn into an animal of the Zodiac (tiger, ox, rat, dog, etc). Now it doesn't sound so bad, but that's what causes a lot of problems. Because of this curse, they are weighed down by their own problems; blame and rejection from their parents and family, loss of loved ones, and utter fear of the world coldheartedness.
Tohru Honda (the orphan girl) simply encourages the family members to get along, and often looks on the bright side to inspire them. Even though she has her own problems too, like the death of her parents and such, she always puts this family in front of own things, and makes sure they're doing their best to be happy. That's basically it, but Tohru is a truly inspiration character and model. I can't say much more about it, otherwise I'd be giving the story away.
But some of the other characters/family members have some pretty good qualities too. You can see throughout the story that they do learn, accept, and then let go. Be warned though, the story can be a little depressing, for there can't actually be a satisfying answer to every problem for everyone. In order for a happy ending, there is a lot of self-sacrificing the characters make, and lots of change of heart. It's something that is much needed in this world today, and that's why I like this series so much. Quite sweet and touching. The story got me teary-eyed too...another good reason to read it... At the end of the series, I was thinking that maybe if we'd just follow the wonderful qualities the characters possess, then maybe we could provide basketful of fruits for God?

But it really doesn't look it though, doesn't it?
Usually when you see manga or anime, it's kind of 'eeh...' :P But this one is mostly good. If you're old enough and right in the head, it's quite enjoyable. (I hear it's usually the first manga anyone reads) Kind of funny too. :) Again, there are a few questionable details. Like the whole Zodiac thing? But what about the whole Harry Potter thing? It's not like we're gonna run around waving wands in everyone's faces and battle nose-less guys.

When I grow up...I'm going to be a little kid.

"Life was so much simpler when our definition of drama was someone stealing our crayons, and our biggest fears were catching cooties or missing nap time."

A friend of mine said that, on a recent status on Facebook. I responded with a "Ah yes, such sweet memories."
Nowadays, (and I'm sure nowadays will stretch for the rest of my years) I've been kind of missing those kinds of things. I mean, now we can't find anything simple. Can't even define normal OR simple anymore. It wasn't like that when we were little, when we could fall as many times as we wanted, and it wouldn't hurt as much as it does now. Such a superpower, huh?

Unfortunately, it's an impossible wish to be completely back in the good old days, where everything was simple and carefree. And fun. And when Mr. Rogers never seemed to age. And when everyone thought Magenta from Blues Clues was a girl. And when you thought swings couldn't swing high enough...
I could go on forever, but you get the point. My friend was saying that he wished that things could be simple again, carefree, etc...
I responded so: "I think you still could though, in a way...like when we were little, falling didn't hurt as much, probably because we always knew and trusted that someone would always be there to pick us up. I think now that we're older, and feel pain a lot differently, that kind of trust fades off...and we kind of forget that there's Someone else who can always pick us up, in any of our worst kinds of fallings. 'Cause there's always something better out there, better than having the most epic color pencils and light-up shoes that God has in store for us."

We'll always be a little kid at heart, but we know that doesn't completely erase our problems. Sometimes we wish we could be content with the simplest things, like what I mentioned above. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. God didn't create us to live for color pencils, playgrounds, giant slides (but if you somehow ended up with that kind of vocation, I have to say that I am EXTREMELY jealous.), He has something better. And, sticking those pictures of sweet childhood memories to our fridges, we can get there with that childlike heart. We're just gonna have to trust God a little more to do more than just pick us up. :) He can lift us up and make us soar.

Halfway there...

Are we all 'ohmigosh, that was fast' or, '...not fast enough...'? ;)
Lent is a good time to clean out all the lint in our 'dryers' before we come out all fresh and clean. :)

Anyways, I don't have much to write about right now, but here's a nice song that I wanted to share.
Sometimes (well, not sometimes, all the time!) God just longs to be our everything. And He is. How big, or what's the definition of our 'everything'? What or who is our everything now?

Rest assured...

...I have NOT fallen off the face of the earth, thank God. I've just slipped. ;)

I know, where in the world has this writer gone to, especially before Lent? Doesn't she owe you a post? Yes, I do owe you a post. In fact, I'll give you this one long post!

I'll spare you on the details, but things in life have been changing. A lot. Besides the annoying teenager hormones and my siblings who are almost ALL taller than me (except for one...) and the war with acne finally subsiding, of course.

It's mostly about growing up, that's been 'up' lately. I know, all of the above were about growing up...but...ok, read at little bit more and you'll find out.

First of all, it just hit me that I AM a teenager. girl. With a face and some sort of aura God created me to have, and that eventually, a boy or two...or five...will notice. Scary thought, ya? I totally agree. I say I need a frying pan or two to keep those buggies away.
Okay, I didn't mean that seriously (well...maybe a little... :P ;) ), I DO have some really nice friends who are guys. Yes, they all ARE scary, immature, and childish at times, but it took me a while to realize they're just little boys...with big hearts.
And NO, I know what you're thinking, but no. Miss CT is not planning on dating anytime soon, noooo sireee... Like I said, rest assured. I believe that those kind of relationships should first and foremost be built upon Christ's holy and pure love, as we build our friendship as true brothers and sisters - whether we feel any 'feelings' or not, or whether things would work out the way we think they will or not. That goes for every kind of relationship. You just need to make sure it's firm and strongly built, not on sand, but on a nice sturdy Rock. But I'm not going further there, (unless you want me to) so please bear with me as I hop onto the next paragraph.
So there you have it. I'm being chased around by boys - a position I have never thought of being pulled into... I know that's very un-girly of me, but I assure you that I am not even close to an average Catholic teenage girl. (Weird, huh? It's like I see romance as the worst thing that could ever happen to me! lol. But no, it's definitely not worst thing that could happen to me, it just may not be for me yet.) The situation used to bother me a lot. Not much these days. It's not the fact that I am being chased around that bothers me the most, it's the horrid fact that when I give them a 'no', they break...and so do I.
The first time happened a couple of years ago - a total bolt from the blue. He was a friend from Church, and I didn't know him that well. When I realized of the drama he was asking of me, I was totally dazed. Just by the thought of that 'boyfriend/girlfriend' relationship, I felt sick and ruined. I never wanted anyone to like me in that way. ...So obviously, nothing ever came out of it. It hurt my friend for a while, but he's alright now. But that was the first time. Now it's like I have every guy I know under suspicion of 'chasing me'.

So let me fast-forward to last month. I had been completely devastated over this fact that bore the question: How far am I supposed to go to love people??
I don't want to boys to keep falling for me, only for them to go away with a broken heart. Of course, I guard my heart pretty well - I'm definitely not an easy fish to catch, as they have learned very well. I asked myself, did/am I doing something wrong?? I put up more 'walls'. But they follow me anyway. I was disgusted with myself. Felt like the only person who hated me, was me. And if you haven't guessed yet, I DO care for my guy friends, whether they want to chase me or not. It's just that the matter is so fragile and complicated...I don't want to be the one to cause the pain. I know and knew what St. Paul was saying 'Love is patient, Love is kind...' And I do want to potray that perfect love with all my heart to everyone, (as everbody should desire that! I hope.) but... How far should I go before somebody's heart breaks? If not theirs, what about mine? Can't I be a better friend and spare everybody of wasted pain?

I decided to pray on this at an Adoration night...
And I got my answer.

"Love until it hurts."
Me: Whaaaat? That doesn't help at all. Love 'til it hurts - how do you do that???
Then I raise my eyes from the Eucharist and freeze at it rests on my Lover hanging on the Cross.
I was all, "Ohh." (*buries face in arms*)
'Love until it hurts'... I had missed one important part of St. Paul's definition of love: Love endures all things.

...I'll end that part of this post there. But before I go on...
Um, honestly? Right now, I'm still wrapping my mind around that. I feel more assured and confident about matter, but not 100%. Really, if we were 100% ok about everything - sure things would be a lot easier - but life would be so boring, don't you agree?! It's testing that faith, hope, and love that bring out the beautiful things in life.

Anyway. I do suppose I owe you a post on Lent.
Now, I've said a lot about Lent before in the past, so I don't want to repeat myself here... But here's something that I've gotten out of Lent so far.
One of my resolutions was to give up my extra computer time. Yes, facebook too. But I didn't say I was giving up facebook entirely.
Why? Not just because some of my friends aren't giving up facebook. I had decided on using facebook to reach out to my friends in need, in whatever distress or problems they were going through. One of my friends lost his job. Another one of my friends needed encouragement and someone to talk to. So far, it's gone pretty alright, except for the fact that facebook has some pretty nasty glitches that make me miss messages... :P
Anyways. Besides that, I realized that without all that extra time to play around on facebook, 'stalk' my lovable friends and read all their posts, play with the flair apps and bejeweled games...the days suddenly got longer. I'm not kidding! I find my afternoon hours so long and empty. Especially 3-6pm. Then it hit me: What in the world do I do for 2-3 hours on facebook?? There's a lot I could do in three hours without facebook. Cook, clean, draw some saint pics, write a song, watch some VeggieTales stuff with my siblings...and well, blog.
It made me think, if we gave up something that consumes so much of our time, then what could we do to fit in those hours that would make our days so much longer and fulfilling? I find that if time feels slow, it means you do a lot in your day and get a lot out of it.

Next week we'll be halfway finished through Lent. Has time been seemingly slow for you or not? :)

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It's quiet here...

Yeah, sorry about that... I've been getting over this horrible stomach flu. I'm still recovering. But I can manage to sneak in a post. ^_^

First off, it's my first post of 2011! :D Yay! Happy New Year friends!

So, do I have lots of check marks on my old "New Years Resolutions for 2010" list?
Yes...and no...noooo......but it turned out to be so much better. :)
I got to develop my writing and art skills quite well. So that's a check. But no, I did not join the Honolulu Marathon, and I barely ran all year... :P And, as you can obviously tell, I did not give an amount of two posts per month. I posted more than I expected I wouuld, but not as much as I'd like myself to...
But I learned a lot. A lot more than what I had expected. And that's got to be the biggest check on my resolutions list of 2010 than any of them.
I guess that's another funny thing...We can make our goals, but God takes them and makes them awesomer beyond our imagination. He takes what we have, and replaces it with something MORE.

I won't lie, it's been a difficult year, despite all the joys and accomplishments. My family and I had to move again, and that hurt just to know that after four years, we STILL haven't found the right home/house for us. I know God does indeed have that home prepared for us, but sometimes the waiting just tears me apart...
Anyways. Concerning school, 2010 didn't kill me. I think it decided to give 2011 the honor...
Emotionally...and in personal issues... There were quite few of those things that were difficult. Those stuff never bothered me before. I've always just avoided them. 2010 showered me with lots of things to think about - I'm a growing teenger. I'll spare you the drastic boring details, and well, the whole story, but I stepped into the great teenager world (if you're homeschooled, your launch happens late =D). But no worries, I've got a frying pan at my side to whack the weirdos who decide to stalk me. ;)
I basically did say a lot more in my other posts, so I'll go on. :P

I thought last year was going to be different...no, this year would probably have the most changes.
My sister is going to college. College! Noo, I didn't think we'd still be alive by then!!
I'm supposed to be a senior in highschool this year. I was thinking about enrolling in a homeschool program called Seton, so I could fly to Virginia in 2012 to receive my diploma. It'd be fun. But if you know Seton, then you know that I probably won't get there alive...lol. ;) But, we'll see...I still have to do a PSAT and then an SAT. Please keep me in prayers on that school stuff... Oh right. And I'm going to start driving this year. =] Yeah, you might want to pray for me on that too.

Anyways, that's enough for now. To close this little update, here's a favorite song of mine. :) It's helped me so much. I hope it touches you as it did to me. :)

Random thought for today

Okay, so here's what happened (a couple of months ago) after the 12noon Mass. :) I was talking to my friends - little kids, really sweet, crazy, imaginative, creative, and just, well, wow. :)
And so, the second youngest little girl from this other close family friends of ours, comes up to me and gives me a present for my birthday (It wasn't my birthday yesterday).
So, she goes, "Here you go, for your birthday."
Me, "Oh, that's so sweet of you! Do you want me to open it?"
Little Girl: "Umm, if you want to." But you can tell, though, that every part of her is basically screaming 'Ohh my GOSH! Just OPEN IT ALREADY!!'
And so I open it. And I find a beautiful angel pin inside the tightly folded and taped white paper, with laces and a few beads and some sort of golden thread material. And there's a sparkly blue plastic flower in the middle.
Me: "Ohhh, it's SO pretty!! I love it!" *hugs little girl*
And so the little girl beams, so proud of herself as she then says, "I found it on the floor."
I'm a little dumbfounded when she says this. This is a little girl who has five (did I mention crazy?) brothers, and only one baby sister. But she was SO proud of herself!

I mean, seriously, why is it that only little kids see the beautiful awesomeness in the littlest of things? The simplicity?
'Kay, so I have two little siblings - when they see something beautiful lying around on the floor, they keep it. In their treasure chest, jewelry box, or whatever.
I think that's what God does to us sometimes. He sees us on the floor, lost and alone, and is quick to save the beautiful thing from being trampled...And keeps it in a treasure box, His Heart. :)

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You’re happy, I’m happy. You’re sad, I’m sad. You jump off a cliff…

With a friend like me, why would you want to jump off a cliff??
There’s something heartwarming about friendship. That sweet camaraderie among those whom you’ve known the longest, the ones who’ve you can count on anytime of the day, and yes, those ones whom we just love to hang around with, no matter what age. We know that love is what binds friendship together, and that God is Love itself. We’ve seen many scenarios that teach us valuable facets of it, for example, in the media that so often effects us today, good ways, and pretty awful ways. But do we really know that it’s also a facet of a vocation to holiness?

In Toy Story 3, the toys are being called to a special kind of calling; the vocation of being present. They know at times, that even though they may never be played with again; just being there for their owner in good times and bad, strengthen their friendship more than ever. Lord of the Rings, I think, is all about loyalty and responsibility. As a friend, we are entitled to a responsibility and loyalty that goes beyond measure, but it acts on both our parts – Frodo and Sam are the best examples. In those desperate situations, many friends are promoted to family, and our responsibility and loyalty rises to that of a sibling. The Soloist teaches yet another valuable lesson that is often concealed. We can provide happiness, beauty, and everything they have ever dreamed of, but we cannot do everything. We may able to change their heart, with God’s grace, but we cannot change who they are. In the movie, Nathaniel suffers from schizophrenia; his friend Steve does everything he can to help him, but blames himself that he cannot solve the real problem. We can’t fix them into the way we want. Only God can do that. And those are the precious moments that God calls us to be in – just to be there for a friend is the best you can do – and let God do the rest.

There are way too many examples I can give that show the beauty of friendship. I chose these three, mainly because they have taught me a valuable lesson that gave an impact on my life. It may be a little strange to focus on that area, but if you know me pretty well (I tend to be a little too nice sometimes :P), it’d make sense. And maybe you’re like that, too. I don’t think of myself as a reliable and responsible teenager that everyone can count on. And not in the way you might think! Yes, I strive to clean up my room, make my bed, cook lots of desserts for my family, and stay constant in my faith, but when it comes to reaching out to someone, a friend or sibling, maybe, I find myself wavering over the decision to help or not a little too long. No, I’m not cold-hearted like that, it’s just that it takes a while for me to trust in God and remember that I should just be an instrument of his Love, not the one playing it. But that’s responsibility. Being there and reaching out to those in need – because in Christ’s eyes, we are all brothers and sisters. How could stand by and wait for them to come sobbing at our laps?

It’s that leap of faith, and that moment when friends get promoted to family, and you find/see yourself a little more clearly, too. If you don’t, it’s gonna be pretty lonely, for your friend, and for yourself, too. I know, it's scary. But don't forget that God is our Friend too, and He won't let us down!

We also must remember we are JUST God’s instrument. We don’t take charge, just take hope and know that God’s taking care of it, through you. I had a hard time accepting that. Not too long ago, I was driving myself nuts over a friend who was feeling broken – I felt really awful that I couldn’t heal whatever was wrong. I blamed myself for failing; it made myself miserable and made me want to give up. But God didn’t give up on either of us. Through the movie ‘The Soloist’ (and some reflection after seeing the film), I was able to understand a little bit more, and remember that I’m human. Duh! I can’t do everything – I can do everything I CAN, but I can’t do the impossible. Only God can. It was those moments when I was there for my friend, that God used to heal whatever was broken. Just being there may be the best thing you can do, like those toys, or the way Frodo and Sam portrayed it. I was only holding my friend’s heart together, while, not I, but God was healing it. And that experience taught me a lot that still deserves some more thinking.

So yes, true friendship is a facet of vocation to holiness. It’s through them that we feel God, and allow God to work through us. And you can never ever ever have too many friends; it’s like food. (No, no, don’t eat your friends!!) You need to eat, and you’ve got your favorites, but you can’t ignore the healthy stuff. And of course, there’s no harm in trying new food. Who knows? Might just end up as one of your favorites, too.
Love, responsibility, and loyalty. Three voices that combine to make one glorious hymn. Can you guess which one sings the melody?

“Friendship isn’t about whom you’ve known the longest. It’s about who came, and didn’t leave your side.”

So, if you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re sad, I’m sad. You jump off a cliff…

And you can be sure that I’ll be at the bottom to catch you! :)

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"When you're fighting to believe in a love that you can't see, just know there is a purpose..." ♫

Waiting isn't much fun, huh? :(
Many times, a lot of times, we find ourselves waiting for something. A hope, a promise, anything really... Something that would spark our spirits to love God in that amazing way we have before, but somehow...we just don't feel it. Then you wonder what would it take for you to fall in love with Him again.



This has been one of my favorite songs for a while. It was the first song that came to mind when I heard the first Reading on Sunday (oh yes, I was paying attention!!). Sometimes we can't feel God and how He, at those moments, is wrapping His loving arms around us. He didn't love us any less. Did it ever occur that maybe we have...?
Yet, in the midst of all the brokeness, His promise - or whatever He has spoken to your heart - still stands firm. If it hasn't come, you can be assured that it's on its way, without fail, and has never stopped from coming. It's kind of like Christmas or Easter. It's not going to stop from coming, even though the days seem miserably long and hard. Even when it finally seems like everything has fallen apart (like in the vid when the girl's violin was smashed to pieces), God is still there to take us through. If He can't take us out of this dark night, then He'll at least take us through. :)
Pain, brokeness, sorrow...they're all a part of life, and necessary, too. "The pressure makes us stronger, the struggle makes us hunger... The hard lessons make the difference, and the difference makes it worth it." A lot of times we forget that God's time isn't always our time.

A mom of one of our close family friends gave me this to think about when I was going through some tough times:

Humility --do what you can and let Him do the rest.
Confidence--faithfully believe He will take care if things.
Abandonment -- His will be done.
Love- do what love requires and love yourself right where you are, He'll do the rest.

These were the four virtues that St. Therese taught - and this mom is a very close friend of hers. :) I figured it'd be a good time to post it - especially that I've missed posting a bit of St. Therese for her feastday, so...
I like that she mentioned "He'll do the rest," at least twice. I think we tend to forget about that... I do, for sure. :P

In the meantime, while we wait, we can be that hope for someone else. Share His love, even if we don't feel it, and let them know that they're not the only ones who feel broken inside, and struggles to hide it. It's hard, but yes, ultimately worth it.

P.S, I know this is super off-topic, but could you please vote on the poll that's on the sidebar? And let me know - 'cause I changed my backgrounda while ago, forget to mention - if the text is harder to read and if I should change the color...

Okay, who threw their watch out the window...?

I blame you for making time fly by!!!!

Can you believe it's October already? *doesn't raise hand* I still remember Christmas Caroling down in Waikiki with some of my bestest friends...and that only feels like five months ago.
For me, October is always that moment when you think somewhere along the lines of: "Darn. It'll be Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then New Years one after another. And before you know it, it'll be Valentines day, and then Lent AGAIN!"

Don't you hate it when life throws itself at you like that? Life should be treated like chocolate; savored slowly and with each little bite, you feel that satisfying sensation. Chocolates shouldn't be gobbled up. Where's the fun in that?


I've had a lot of grown-up moments this year. Several times I had to assume the title of 'big sister' when my older sister wasn't around. I'm pretty bad at it, but at least I've got a brother who looks centuries older than me. We don't even look alike...(on the sidenote, my younger sister just told me that if we weren't related, and she saw me walking around Waikiki, she'd definitely think I was a tourist).
Besides being stressed out about moving, which I never really had before, there was the teenage drama going on with my friends, and that whole friendship thing, when you talk to someone about why you're hurting and God's miraculous intervention. This was the first time I've talked about stuff like that to a friend. Okay, it wasn't a real-life conversation, nor a phone conversation. ...It wasn't email either. It was uh, Facebook messaging... (you can laugh now) But that still counts, right??
I can remember the many times I've rolled my eyes whenever my mom talks about stuff like that with her friends. I was like, 8-ish, and seeing my mom cry about emotional stuff that has happened was amusing(my mom has this really loud & jiggily laughter that you can hear a mile away). But now that I've experienced it, I can really understand why talking about it brings you to tears. Wow. Just amazing. Weird, but amazing.

Another grown-up moment was when I was camping this weekend. I snuck away with my older sister to go stargazing on the beach. Lying there on the cool and fine sand, I wondered about a lot of things that had happened lately. I realized that there was a very big difference between two times of the homeschool group I have been in. The one that seemed like decades ago, and the one now. Why do I think of them as almost two seperate groups? Because the one decades ago - almost all of the members had either moved away to the mainland(military), or decided to non-homeschool their kids. They were all replaced with new friends and families. Anyway, the old group had lots of kids around 8-12yrs. There was a teenager or two, but that was it. Now? I can count up to almost twenty teenagers, most of them around my age. And not a lot of them are military. I realized that these would be those friends that you'd grow up with - throughout the rest of highschool year, graduation, and possibly college. Years ago, those things would never come to mind. Years ago, growing up never existed. And years ago, it felt like God was holding the future in His Hands, and there was nothing to worry about.

That's another thing that I've been wondering about. Why is it that the older we get, we worry more? God HAS been holding the future in His Hands, before we were all born. It's not like the future is like one of those annoying toy thingies - you know that plastic tube/thingy with sparkley liquid in it that you can't squeeze? Something like that.

This school year I'm doing my best to be a Junior. Already, you may ask? Homeschooling can be confusing, yet extremely organized. The good news is that I've caught up with some school work and have gotten ahead in those areas. The bad news is that I'm still behind in some areas. The plan so far that I've tried to sketch in my head goes somewhere along the lines of getting enrolled in Seton Home Study School for my Senior year, so that I can fly to Virginia in 2012 for graduation.
I have a lot of friends graduating that year, and are also flying to Virginia. That gives me a year to catch up with my not-so-good areas. It's not impossible; it's just that I have those moments where motivation is very much lacking in me. So do keep me in your prayers. :) And if you have any helpful advice, please, do share!

What goes beyond that, I am not entirely sure. I do know though, that I'd like to do something with art (art history is so AWESOME!!...that, and I love to do artwork). I'm self-taught, and very sad that I can't afford art lessons. I suppose my top area is manga/anime art. I'm not much of a fanatic, and haven't had much time lately to do anything, but I'm pretty surprised that in a period of about a year, I've gotten farther than I've expected to. (to close friends: I can email you a couple of pics I've done before). But an ultra-awesome thing is that I've drawn several saints in this style. I don't think they look as awesome as they deserve, but it's still pretty cool. So I suppose this brings me to an idea of learning to do animation? That would be really neat. John Paul the Great University provides classes on animation. Other than that, I do want to learn other art styles. But who knows what will happen? Only God does. :)

Another thing is writing. As you can probably guess by this super-long blog post, I do love it (Yes. I know. I'm weird.). I admit that I have had many attempts at writing a book, fantasy/fiction, and maybe a short story or two that's connected to another story, but that's it. It's either lack of motivation, or another idea springs up and I want to go with that one that stops me. Believe me, I have plenty of ideas, stories, and fun stuff in my head that I want to write, but those ideas outweigh my writing skills. In other words, I can't write it all out very well. I'm still trying to find out my writing style. But now that I'm getting older, and running out of time before Senior year, I really want to finish up at least a draft of a story. That sense of accomplishment would be really great. On another area, essays don't prove to be too hard unless there is absolutely no inspiration. Do pray for me regarding that...

One last thing is music. I'm no prodigy - all I can do is play the piano and a bit of the violin. But I've also done a little experimenting here and there, and actually has gotten into song writing. Song writing? Really? Yep. It's a lot more fun than I thought!

So...any college hope for me? I've taken a look at lists of degrees and majors and whatnots, and looked at the list of "These are more necessary if you want to get a nice and well-paying job." Is it just me, or is that kind of scary?

Oh, and another grown-up moment: I lost my keys. (No, not my car keys!!! I don't wanna drive yet!! ...That comes next summer.) Now I know how annoying that feels...


P.S.~I hope this post made up for the absence. The picture is a sunrise at the campsite I was at.

Broken hearts?

...just one of those moments when you're feeling kind of down, and then in the middle of Mass, your mind kind of clings on to a word or phrase the priest says, and then, well, a chain of thoughts begin to collide.

Anyway, this is going to be somewhat of a blog update as well...along with yet another mini-reflection. :)

First of all, there have been a lot of changes going on with me and my family. Some I love, and some...well, I'd rather not be best friends with. :P I can't exactly say what they are, but I'll continue on anyway. Let's just say that my sibs and I are growing up, my parents are working harder to support the family, and the world is giving me this weird stare that says, "Hi there. You're a teenager! Welcome to the world!" Right now I'm giving the world a sour look. I'm really relieved that I'm homeschooled, but I know now that being homeschooled doesn't change the fact that we're going to grow up, live according to what morals and important stuff we've learned, and yes, work in the world. Being homeschooled definitely, I would say, changes the color of my life to a different shade that defines me, and not who the world defines me as. (did that make sense?) I get that feeling that I've been watching the world with wide eyes in a binoculars, and then the world kind of jumped at me and kind of made the binoculars hit the areas around my eyes, and now there are marks and now it's laughing at me.
Okay, I'll leave that there otherwise my mind might wander off aimlessly. ;) :)

Okay...um, right, broken hearts. Lately, I've been dealing with 'brokenness of heart'. Teenage drama. Something that I never thought I'd get my face into. :P Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about broken hearts. Not much fun at all (the topic, not the conversation...). We were both feeling down for a number of reasons, but somehow, we managed to get by with the grace of God. Thinking about it made me come to some sort of conclusion: 'it takes more than one to repair a broken heart.'
Which is true sometimes, when you think about it. Brokeness comes in many forms. It can come in disappointment in yourself or others, loss of someone you care about...or just plain brokeness when the world seems to tell you that God has left you alone.

It's painful to pick up the broken pieces and walk alone, fearing that if you put it back together, it'll just break again. But that's what good friends are for. Friends and family are there to hold the pieces of your heart together so that God can heal it. They can help pick up the pieces and remind you what your heart is made out of, and Who made it. "Big hearts fall hard" I like to think of it that way. :) If your heart shattered hard, then you must've had a pretty big heart.
Some days ago, I stumbled upon this quote, "Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest - it's about who came and didn't leave your side." Many friends will join you arm in arm when your road is filled with flowers, rainbows, and sunshine. Few others will accompany you through the dark woods and stony steep paths. I'm sad to admit that I've been there - as one of those friends who would only join if the road looks promising. Those friends whom I've left alone had the unfortunate experience of being pushed away when they were trying to a true friend to me, and were rewarded by walking their steep paths alone. And now they've learned not to ask for help when feeling down.
We've all had our ups and downs in life. Thankfully, I was able to resolve the most part of the matter and now I'm back to being a true friend (at least trying to :) ) to another who experienced a broken heart for a while. (He's okay now :) )
But yeah...don't be afraid to ask God to help. That's beautiful humility right there, asking for help like a child who needs his/her mother or father.

Another thing I wanted to add...Everyone has felt a little bit of brokeness in their lives. Even Jesus.
During Mass, when the priest said the word 'broken' at the altar, it made me think...Our hearts break for something very special. They break because of something that ties in with love. Jesus' Heart broke and bled for us all over and over again. Can that sort of love make our hearts break for Him? If you imagined yourself at the crucifixion of Our Lord...would your heart break at the sight? HIS heart breaks everytime we go or do something wrong. Or if we can't somehow feel or see Him. Or if we're going through tough times and crying. Just know that He holds you in His arms everytime that happens.

I'm still coping with these changes - growing up is tough, I admit it - I'm not superhuman or anything. No one is. Everyone feels pain and confusion. Everyone thinks a lot and wear smiley masks. And not everybody loves changes.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept changes...the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference." ~Anonymous

That's a part of one of my favorite quotes ever. :) It's helped me a lot during these times. I pray that it helps anyone out there who's dealing with changes, too. :) Sometimes it's something we have to learn...the experience I suppose, can be quite worth it. Just remember that you don't have to go through brokeness alone. God's always there, and He's more than willing to send you an angel to help you get by your pain! :)

(btw...I know, totally off-topic here, but I set up a poll on my sidebar...and I'd really appreciate it if you could please vote! :) )

Smile!

Hmm......Well, I noticed it was getting a little quiet here, so I've decided to write up a little thought/reflection thingy. I was looking through a bunch of quotes about smiles that made me think...

"Smile! It's the 2nd best thing you can do with your lips." -by Whoo Noes(? really, I don't know...) :P :)
Ever heard of that saying before? ...You know, I've always wondered what the first best thing was... :P Well, I'm not going to talk about that, so let's just move on, shall we?

‎"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." ~Mother Teresa
I have to say that I absolutely love this quote. Her way of life basically is a smile! She's so sweet to say something like this, even going through a 'night of darkness' - and that's not much fun at all.

"Wear a smile - one size fits all!" -Anonymous
Yes, everyone can smile. It's not that hard. We don't have to feel it all that happiness to smile. It's healthy for you. And healthy for everyone around you. Who knows, maybe it will impact someone's life. So smile, or else.

I like to think of smiles as little flowers or colors. Especially when it comes from the heart. They can brighten up your life and mood, and even make the world seem like a better place. But a lot of times (and I mean A LOT), we take them for granted, and don't see them as something wonderful. And then forget about them. And that forgetfulness is sad.
I have a few friends who are one of those 'happy - not happy - happy-and-then-not-happy' people...and well, I think we all do (I think we can even be some of them...well, you know what I mean). :) It's amazing how a smile can re-ignite the flame of hope in people's hearts. It's like a silver-lining, a hug, a pat on the back, but all of that in just one simple smile.

Also...a smile is like grace. It's contagious, passing from person to person - like grace, if you pray for one person, they may be led to pray for another person, or like that commercial (State Farm, I think it was?) when one person helps another, and a witness is moved to help someone else. It's like that.

It's also like a painting too. I'm one of those people who really appreciate art and would stare at European paintings (especially religious paintings) for a long time and try to find the story behind it. What I really enjoy seeing though, is the effort that people put into it. A lot of painters get paid to paint something - and some of them can be kinda weird - but when they paint from the heart, it's just beautiful beyond words. Even if it's just a kid drawing. They put effort into it to show that they care. Smiling shows that people care and put their effort in to show it.
I also love to imagine some of those scenes in the Gospel (try to figure out the one I've thought of ;) ) where I see Jesus smiling as he says something really bizarre and confusing to the people (well, it must've been 'out of the blue' back then), as if Jesus knew what was going to happen in the future and could just see inside people's hearts. Then there's another time when I imagine he must've been smiling at the old suffering woman who touched his cloak to be healed - he must've knew how she felt. That's another 'facet' of smiling. We smile because we know and care. When you can't think of the words to say how much you care, just smile. Next time you drop by the Chapel or Blessed Sacrament at your parish, give Jesus a smile when you can't think of any words to say.

Okay, well, that's my little thought for the day. There's a lot that I could add, but that's all there is on my mind right now. :) I bet a person could fill up a whole book about smiles... But anyway thanks for putting up with my random thoughts! :)

...

Gosh, it's almost been two months since my last post. Time flies by so fast!

Anyway, to reward you for actually visiting this blog, here's a pic I managed to take of the relic of St. Damien of Molokai. Yes, they actually opened the box on his feastday! His feastday is now an actual recognized 'day' by the state of Hawaii. Apparently they're working on having it as a state holiday...that would be sooo cool even though I won't have a day off from school. :)

Anyway, believe it or not, homeschooling life is really busy-like. But we've got daily Mass, so everything's all good. :)

There's been a lot of changes in life lately, and lots of stuff planned for the rest of the year.
One of them is that...My older 'sis and I are going to Boston for the St. Paul Summer Program again! Hurray!! ^_^ We leave around next week, so please (pretty please with whipped cream and powdered sugar and a cherry on top!) keep us in your prayers! We'll also be staying a week in CA to visit our aunts. I shall post pics when I come back!! (that is, if we do come back...lol, I'm just kidding. :)

And ouch, well, I'm still getting over the fact that the year is just about half over. I sincerely hope it has been going slower for you. :)
Thanks for putting up with me readers! (If there are any of you left...)

"Your Love is a Song"

Here's a nice song that I've been listening to lately...entitled: Your Love is a Song, by the Christian band Switchfoot. (They also did a song for Chronicles of Narnia!)
We can't receive God's love to the fullest unless we open our minds, eyes, and hearts to Him. And when we do, His Love will carry us away like the most beautiful of melodies. ^_^ ♫

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! :)

Here comes Holy Week....

What do you do? Panic because you're not ready? Or rejoice because of the fact that Lent is almost over?
You're ALMOST there!!! :D Whoo hoo, I'm praying for you!
Did you actually count 40 days from Ash Wednesday? Sundays are not included in the 40 days, so your finger (if you're actually counting right now) should stop somewhere around Holy Week. Yep! Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday are not a part of Lent. *gasp!* But it definitely doesn't mean that you can eat whatever you want and start rejoicing. Remember, Lent is a PREPARATION for His Passion, Death, and Resurrection.
So what do we do for Holy Week? Do we hold our breaths? Count silently until Easter comes around with wide eyes? We're not supposed to really think about Easter yet - look forward to it yes, but not celebrate it yet. Doesn't mean that you need to stay up on Saturday night and wait until 12:00am to start boiling eggs, going on raids to the grocery store to stack up on candies & goodies and plastic eggs and such.
I think the best thing to do for Lent, especially if you live a truly hectic life (like me :P ) is to keep silent. In honor of Jesus' Passion, Death and Resurrection. You can refrain from babbling on the phone, ranting with your friends, or something like that. But during Holy Week (that is, if you didn't do this during the entire Lent), offer up your silence for the distracting noises and misuse of music, audio, and conversation. Think about how silent JESUS was when he carried the cross. Remember He asked why people were against him even when he already told them a gazillion times that he was from God? He didn't ask why those very same people were persecuting him now. Instead of telling someone to stop annoying you with their bickering (like a fly that just won't get out of the house), listen to them, and pray for them. It's not easy. I remember reading something about this guy asking Padre Pio if the Wounds of Christ on his hands hurt. Well, of course they hurt! He said that they were holes in his hands.

But it's admitting that your pain hurts, admitting that it's not easy, and admitting that you can't do this without God - that's true humility. Humility (and I like to think it this way) is like asking a hug from Jesus.

Well, until Easter! Keep your eyes on Jesus - the finish line! ^_^

ultra awesome pic source

"So....How are we holding up??" :D Lenten Reflection

The title says it all.
We're just about halfway! Yay! That means we can eat our seconds and all the goodies we want soon!! :P
Actually, Lent has been going waaay too fast for me. It's always been like that for us. You must be thinking 'yeesh, good for you' but that's not what's exactly in my head right now. How am I 'enjoying' Lent? I wouldn't put it that way, but Lent comes by every year, and you're bound to get used to it. What?? Used to it?! You're not supposed to get used to Lent! Well, not the 'used' that I'm thinking of.

Think of Lent this way: You know how a special visitor/relative comes to visit you, and you make sure to set aside most of your time to spend with that person? Sacrifice a ton of things to be with that person? Even eating other kinds of food when? Lent is a LOT like that. It's time for that 'extra' time with Jesus.

Though I must say this though...Why oh why does the food cooked in the house have to be soooo good, during LENT of all times???? For example, my older sister made salmon cooked in butter with chives and lemon. It was mouth-watering. Seriously. And then for Friday, Dad cooked tilapia (fish) in vinegar with tomatoes and onions on the side, then last Friday he made one of my absolute favorites: SHRIMP SCAMPI. You know, it was kind of hard not to fast....but there you go, another thing to 'offer up!' :)

Btw, this blog was mainly written for the youth/young adults section, but I'm glad that regular adults are reading this too. :) Anyway, forgive me for getting off-topic for a bit, but here's a part for the young ones....about fasting. I have a 12-year-old brother, who's feet are as long as a foot (that's 12 in. btw, and he uses size 13-14 shoes), and he's almost 6 ft. Tell me about it. And I'm not even 5 ft...so...imagine. People always get the impression that I'm 13 years old.
Anyway, he's one of those kids who get seriously inspired after watching saint movies and try to copy their every move after watching them. (*sigh*...if only we could all do that 24/7 :) And, he also likes acting like a teenager, which he's not so good at. Okay, forgive me for hopping around here, but let's go on to a different topic for now. :)
As you (should) know, the Baltimore Catechism (or whatever you're reading) says that once you're 15, you are obliged to abstain from eating meat on Fridays and days of abstinence. For fasting, the ages are 18-59. Why 18, you may ask? Well, the Church would definitely not like to starve you to death and deprive you of your nutrition when you are still growing. For my brother for example, he's tall, but he's still growing. No fasting for him. And I mean healthy meals, not candy and whatnot. Kids can give up all the candy and sweets they want - you're not gonna die without them - but food? Please don't starve yourself to death. I beg of you. Especially if you're having your growth spurt, are very into sports etc...It's not very plesant to faint during activities, I can tell you that.
I fainted twice before - both in not very good situations. :( But yes, I fainted because I skipped breakfast (this was because I was reaaally little back then) and fainted during Mass at a park I felt queasy during the Our Father, then dropped down. All I wanted to do was sleeeep. Food was not very interesting.
Another time was when I skipped lunch because I had an hour gymnastic class at 12pm. I was the only student (thank goodness) at that class, so I was spared embarrassment from my fellow classmates. I fainted after the first 15 minutes of warm up. And YES. This was during Lent. My mom had to dash out of the gym and into the food court nearby, buy a chocolate bar and a full bottle of water, and come back. She gave me the water, which I accepted gratefully, but the chocolate bar...? I was like, 'No thanks, Mom. I gave up sweets for Lent - you know that.' But she gave me this look that screamed "EAT IT." So I ate it. It was disgustingly sweet. I'm not even sure if they sell those things anymore - this chocolate crunch bar with caramel inside. I ate half of it and was ready to go back to sleep. My teacher must've been totally weirded out that I didn't want to eat the chocolate. :P Oh well. Thankfully, I've survived the next 30 min. of gymnastic lessons. So far, I'm the only kid in the family who's ever fainted before, let alone twice. :P Not very proud of that fact...I still need to make sure I eat something sweet if I'm feeling queasy again.
I really hope you've gotten the point of this story. I think the reason you see and read the saints (when they were little, I mean) is because they don't exactly have video games to give up. Haha, I mean, it's their effort that we have to learn from, right? :P I'm pretty sure the Church was thinking of the little ones and their growth when they made sure that the age for fasting wasn't until 18. (Now now, it doesn't mean you can eat all you want! :P )I don't think I need to explain why aged 60+ people don't need to fast.
OK...moving on.

If you're unable to fast, there's plenty of other things you can do. Give up extra food, like chips, candy, sweets, and whatnot. If you're aching for a snack, eat a banana, nuts, or even banana nut bread :D hehe...you get the message. Something healthier. And offer it up! It's not like you have to be completely full after a snack or a meal.

Here's another point I'd like to stress, if you don't mind. If you're utterly deprive of just about everything, (like me and my sibs) :P And I mean video games, fiction books, extra computer time (computer writing/research for school and homework are OK. nice try! :P ;) Try to walk an 'extra mile.' Be nice to someone who's not very nice to you. And if you think that might cause something worse (like this person might get the wrong idea) do it in secret. Do a deed for that person, or if it's entire impossible because s/he lives far away, pray for that person. In big families, this isn't much of a problem. Wash the dishes for your mom or dad, or if you split chores with your brother/sister, do your siblings' half. "A little progress each day," a friend in Heaven once said (I forget his name though). Not sure if cleaning up your siblings' rooms would be a good idea though. They might get the wrong idea in thinking you're snooping around...:P :) If you're the only kid around, do something for your parents. :)

Another point I'd like to stress. Adoration, or simply sitting/kneeling in Church would be awesome during Lent. Take some time off of prayer for a moment, like offering up a rosary or intentions and all that, and just take the time to listen. It's not very nice to say to your parents 'I need this, I want that, this person needs your help so please help him/her, oh and btw, thanks for this and that' and then just cut off the conversation. Don't get me wrong, Jesus is a very good listener! But how can a servant do his or her duty without knowing what the Master wants? Empty your mind, close your eyes (this is hard, but I find that it really helps) and open your heart and ears to whatever message he might have in store for you. A saint said something like, 'Let me hear You with the ears of my heart' or something like that. You may or may not hear a loud voice speaking to you, but it's like sweet music. You'll find the meaning in your heart, not your mind. A bible verse or two might pop up as well. Maybe Jesus wants you to think about what he's said before. Kind of like a reminder from parents :)

Another thing for kids: If you've got an iPod, that'd be the perfect thing to give up. Offer it for the many people in the world who trash music and do not use their gifts and talents to spread goodness and hope. If you can't survive without music (like me - it keeps the gears in my brain turning ^_^ ) then at least make a playlist with all the Christian/Catholic music, and listen to that for Lent. Actually, it's not a bad sacrifice at all. I know some pretty good artists, if you like rock, there's Skillet, Red, Fireflight... And if you do not happen to have an iPod, then by all means, listen to some meditation music to go along with your reflections, while praying, reading a book about a saint, while writing in your journal and all those kids of stuff. Life would be sooo much cooler with background music, right? :) Or, if you're a musician nerd, practice some Christian/Praise 'n worship songs on the piano, guitar, violin, etc. If you somehow cannot do that because of certain reasons (eg, your piano teacher wants you to play a non-religious related song), then practice whatever it is you must play, but on Fridays, play religious music. Unless you've got lessons on Fridays....offer your playing to Jesus! He'd like that alot. :)

For Holy week, try to refrain yourself from using the computer or ranting on the phone. It's just one week. No big deal. You've got Jesus to help you with that, so I don't think it'd be too hard. After all, this is kind of like the wrapping paper on the present you give to Jesus, yeah?

Of course, it is ENTIRELY up to you what you are giving up/doing for Lent. These are just a few suggestions that I thought of. No one's going to force you to do these things. :) Keep it to yourself or tell whatever it is you're doing to the whole world - just remember that it should come from your heart not your mind or the admiration of the other people. It's Jesus everyone should be focused on. Anyway, scroll down to my Advent post for more stuff to read - Lent is a lot like Advent, I can tell you that.

So...I hope you have a VERY blessed and fruitful Lent! :) Keep up the good work - we're JUST ABOUT halfway there!!!! :D I'll be keeping you in my prayers!!

pic source

Preparing for Lent

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted...busy, busy, busy :) Okay, enough of that...

So, preparing for Lent...
That's what I said; Lent. I know...'Lent already?!! I thought it was still Christmas...' Then the dreaded feeling comes over you...right?
I won't lie; I kinda feel the same too. Kinda sad...that time goes by waaay too fast. Then you'd have to think of your Lenten Resolutions. You're either excited, or not so excited.
Now, don't go thinking that when you fast, you're aiming to lose weight. Think, are you thinking of the benefit of your body, or your soul? Hmm...
Okay, moving on. We're thinking about preparing for Lent. Just as we are to be prepared for Holy Week, Easter, Christmas, and all that, I think it's a good idea to prepare for Lent as well. Lent can be the hardest. Advent is different. Advent seems 'happy-ish' and exciting. Even people outside of Church are preparing and celebrating Christmas along with you. ...What about Lent? Nu-uh. Is there a not-so exciting feeling...? Well...you'd probably really really want to lose that, and face Lent with a prayerful attitude.
Try to get past that feeling. Just as you try to get past that feeling of stress during the Advent time when you're thinking about your route of shopping stores to use your coupons.

Anyway, here's what I would suggest to prepare yourself for Lent.
-Go to confession. Yes, I know. You will already eventually go to confession before holy week, but not before Lent. Try it. Try going before Lent, just to prepare yourself. You know that feeling after receiving the Sacrament of Penance, you can finally breathe again? Why not?
-Adoration. At a nearby Church or Chapel, ask Jesus to be with you during this upcoming Lenten Season. Ask him to be with you during tough times. Jesus has been with you through joy and sorrow, why won't you be with HIM from the joyful celebration to the celebration of his death? You've got to follow Him through it all!! :D And even if the visit is just for five minutes...Jesus cherishes every moment with you.
-Plan to attend Daily Mass. Now, my family and I have attended daily Mass for almost 6 years straight. You know how that started? Lent. One day, Mom came to us and suggested Daily Mass as to be part of our Lenten Schedule. At first, we were all, 'eeehh...okay...' And somehow, even after Lent, we kept going because we all fell in love with the Eucharist. Okay, even if you can't get past the hour on Sunday (Homily is too long and I almost fell asleep, terrible parking XP) don't forget that the Eucharist is food for the SOUL. There's a banquet, or a party everyday at Jesus' house. You're always invited, but who likes an invited visitor who just dwadles around in the house as if they were forced to attend?
-Bring a missal/Magnificat to Mass. Now THAT always helps if your mind always wanders off during the Readings. I think most of us have a tendency to immediately forget the 1st Reading. And then during the 2nd, we think random thoughts like, 'Boy, St. Paul can really think of long sentences.' To prevent that, look up on EWTN or another Catholic website that provide the Readings for every Mass. Read and reflect on those readings, so that the next day at Mass (no I'm not going to say you're free to wander off) you are fully prepared.
-Pray the Rosary and/or Divine Chaplet. Or any other prayers you'd like to say. Rosary is on top of the list. :) While praying, try playing a soft and gentle meditation hymn (no words, just music) so that your mind isn't somewhere else and your lips are just opening and closing... Imagine the scenes in your head too. Imagine that you are there when Jesus was in the Temple preaching and his parents rush forward to take him home, or pretend you are one of the Diciples of Jesus and you are listening to his Word, or pretend you are one of the onlookers as Jesus passes by with the Cross in his arms.
-Pray a novena to a favorite saint.

That's all I have for today, (no, you're supposed to do that during Lent too, not just before :P) but if you have any more suggestions, feel free to comment.

ultra awesome image source ^_^

Late Advent reflection...

...I know I said the 'St. Damien of Molokai part 2' was coming up, but I'm still in the process of writing it, and I haven't even said anything about Advent and soon it'll be Christmas, and who knows when it'll posted with all the 'hecticness' comes around...

:P OK, I'm aware that that sounded like a "Dear Santa, I can explain!" thing.
But you get the point. I've given up writing excuses because it's a total waste of time since Jesus already knows who's been good or not (He's got the best seat, no? :)

Now, onto Advent...

This is going to be a quick post, ok?
What is Advent? (I'm not going to answer this question, btw)
To a kid, it probably means 'time to prepare for Christmas! time for Mom and Dad to go out and pick out our presents!! Yaayyy...' and on and on. And what about in the Church? 'Everything's purple.' Yep.
I used to think that Advent was kinda like a time when Mom or Dad closes your eyes, or puts on a blindfold, and leads you through the house for a surprise. Your heart's beating fast, and you're super excited to see what clothes Mom picked out for you (well, not for me), and what super cool toy Dad has in store for you now. You already know that you won't be disappointed...or not? I think it depends on how you receive the gift. That's why Advent is so important. It kind of reflects and influences how you feel when Christmas comes. It prepares you for that feeling - that wonderful feeling of peace that floods your soul when everyone comes together, family, friends, and most IMPORTANTLY, HIM. (No! Not Santa! ...ok, maybe a little.)
But sometimes, some kids may think that, 'Christmas is every year. How come we have to celebrate it again and again?"

Battle that first question with this, "Well, you're already born - why do we have to celebrate your birthday?"
Or the other kids may say this, "Who cares?! Christmas is AWESOME!!!" And they have no idea what the purpose of Christmas is, and have no idea what they are talking about.

Why not celebrate Christmas all over again and over again? For us Catholics, we get to celebrate it for 12 days. ...and that boring feeling that we have to spend and 'we did that last year...i'm tired' thing? Stop that. If you received life, shouldn't you be thankful for that? Especially being born into the true light and life. Advent season is the time to be thankful for everything of the year, especially the presence of Jesus.

But it doesn't end there. Advent is a lot like Lent. (Yes! I did just say that!) In what way, you may ask? 'A time of reflection and preparation.' Sounds familiar? And we're supposed to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation before Easter and Christmas. And we're not supposed to mention 'Alleluia' during Lent, and for Christmas...you know the similarities.
There's a lot more to Lent and Advent than just simply waiting. It's a time to prepare our hearts for the coming of Our Lord. And just not our hearts, our souls too. We do many sacrifices during Lent to show how much we love God, but doesn't that go for the entire year? We love God, of course, but it doesn't mean we have to prove it by doing sacrifices one time a year. Advent & Lent = obviously very important if it's about three-five weeks of preparation for Easter/Christmas.

Remember that other reflection that I did for Lent? It was a 'video game analogy' for my young readers :)
K, you know how hard it is to defeat the 'boss' in a video game? All that preparing, leveling up, and stocking up on supplies and upgrading your weapons? Lent & Advent is kinda like that. Sure it's sweet when you're already powerful enough to defeat the boss head on straight, but sometimes that feeling of accomplishment isn't as satisfying if you didn't work hard to get the victory. But that's only half the battle :) You're not comepletely finished yet. After you defeat this 'badguy or whatever,' you get new equipment, tons of experience points, and that awesome sense of accomplishment, you're off to the next challenge, and at the same time you're excited to use whatever you gained because of all that hard work? Again, Lent/Advent is a lot like that.
...and if you didn't work hard, it's a game over :( Total disappointment. Don't let your Easter/Christmas be like that. Nobody likes a sour Christmas.

concerning presents: It's the thought that counts, but I really wish that kids my age (especially my age :P ) would understand this real feeling of peace and true joy. I often see kids my age with cellphones (I don't particularily like cellphones. I think they're totally bothersome somtimes.), expensive uh, thingies...whatever it is they buy, makeup (I think Jesus doesn't want you to think that he created you wrong :( The true beauty is inside of you :), and really really awful/weird/gross/did-I-mention-awful clothes (I'll have to post something about that sometime). How many kids in the world know that the best gift of Christmas is not something that only lasts for two years?? ...And they don't even acknowledge their parents sometimes. Sad. :( That's also what Advent is for. Not just preparing your own heart for Christmas, but everyone else.

Also, isn't this time also called the 'Season of Giving...? That's actually a nice title. We remember during this season that Jesus gave us Himself, all of him, his love, and everything. We try to imitate him by acting super super good this year, and the next, (and the next and the next and the next............) But not for Christmas presents. But I'm sure, if you've been good this year, you'd be able to feel that peace, that joy, and the true meaning of Christmas in your heart - best present of all. One of the priests that says Mass at our parish gave us this very interesting saying, "God is always up to something good." (Jesus wouldn't give you something bad...depending on how you look at it yourself) Who knows? Maybe Jesus has something great in store for you. Keep your eyes peeled, and your heart open!

And if I don't somehow am able to say this on the actual day...

MELE KALIKIMAKA!!! (that's Hawaiian for: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!) :)

You all will be in my prayers during this special time. God bless you all with much joy, blessings, and true peace!!!

absence

*gasp* It's Friday the 13th!!!!

Ok, now that we've got that out of the way let's get back to what I was going to say about my absence...

:(

Yes...I haven't posted anything for a while. I've been sick with this cold that hasn't gone away yet :P
I still have to post the 2nd part of St. Damien that I promised, and all about the relic procession that took place on Nov 1st. I'm still sick, and my laptop isn't functioning properly (I've been borrowing either my mom's or older sister's) but hopefully I'll have those up by next week...
Hope everyone's having a blessed Fall and month of November!
Mahalo everyone who wished me a happy birthday :)

St. Damien of Molokai - Saint of Hawaii!! ^_^ (part1)

Yahoo!!!!

"I find myself to be the happiest missionary in the world..." -St. Damien of Molokai

Okay, so obviously he's on the list of my favorite saints (which, btw, is pretty long...;) ) So...I'm warning you now, this is one loooonnng post!! So I've decided to do 2 parts for this post.

Alright... I know some of my readers would be thinking something like: "Huh? Who's that guy again...?" and "How in the world could he feel like he's the happiest missionary in the world when he's like that?!..."
Weelll, he's not exactly one of those saints who was humble for a second, and some people immediately started adoring him for that, and there's all the fireworks going off after he went to heaven and stuff like that... Uh no, he wasn't like that at all. In a way, maybe.

If you've never been to Hawaii before, and never know what it's like, then you can read the next few paragraphs that might just help. :)
The rest of you, (if you know what exactly Hawaii is like and/or if you live here you can skip it :P :) )

First of all, even if there was fireworks and all that, I doubt anyone would be able to see it explode when it's in Hawaii. If you look on the map, Hawaii is just a bunch of little dots in a um, roundish line (kinda like those candy dot thingys :P :) )... IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Seriously! Have you ever tried to google earth it? It's smack in the middle of the Pacific Ocean!
(I remember always thinking that the island I live on is big, but on the plane ride to Boston, the words 'It's a small island after all' was just singing in my mind :P )
And no, it's not a deserted island where there's only two grocery stores and everywhere there's palm trees :) We actually have...4? I think? Costcos here.
Anyway, let's get back on track to when BEFORE Costco ever came. The thing is, I live on the island where the most population is and near the capital. So you get the idea and the image of all the tourists. :)
And of course, if you've looked up Hawaii on the map, there isn't just one island. Uh.. there's.....................ok, I admit it! I forget how many there are so I'm looking it up right now on Wikipedia :P During this intermission (lol) I thought it would be interesting to know that if you ever use Wikipedia, the word 'wiki' is actually a Hawaiian word meaning 'quick'.
Ok, got it! There's eight 'main islands'. You have the mainland, and we have the main islands. :P Here are their names (from left to right, if you have the map): Niʻihau, Kauaʻi, Oʻahu, Molokaʻi, Lānaʻi, Kahoʻolawe, Maui, and Hawaiʻi. Don't bother trying to say them all at once if you can't (it's quite a tongue twister if you don't know how! :) ). Yep, if you noticed Hawai'i is called Hawai'i which is a apart of Hawaii itself, then yeah... It's confusing, but we islanders just call it the Big Island. As you have guessed, it's the biggest island. That's where the active volcano is. The rest of the HI islands don't have active volcanos. Ni'ihau isn't exactly a 'public' island either...which means it's not someplace where anyone can just vacation to (ever watched that episode of 'Lilo & Stitch where they say that Ni'ihau is a cursed island or something? ;) )

...OK, moving on.
Now, Molokai is the one you should imagine as deserted. Not COMPLETELY deserted, but deserted enough. Back then in St. Damien's day (19th century) whoever had leprosy in Hawaii, was banished to the island of Molokai. It served as a prison to those who were unfortunately struck with the worse illness of all. I'm pretty sure you know about leprosy, so I'm not going to explain it... just that it's a pretty old disease that it was even in the Bible days as well. It was pretty bad. Everyone who was suspected of having the slightest bit of leprosy or did have it, was torn away from their beloved family, friends, and homes. Everyone, as in EVERYONE. You name it; men, young women, and even children. Some families in Hawaii would hide any loved one who had leprosy, and guard the place with a gun, threatening to shoot anyone who would dare to arrest him/her to take to the horrible prison of Molokai. Being arrested and sent there was practically the worst death sentence you could ever think of. In fact, they'd rather have death itself than to be sent there.
Now, don't go thinking 'wow, ok, so they practically had the island all to themselves...so no big deal, right? Just stay in the corner and pretend to be a hermit or something.' ...Sorry, no. :( It was worse than that. They didn't have the entire island to themselves, not even half or 1/4.
Here's a map of the island to get a better picture of it.

Okay, you see that little bump on the top of the island? That's where the leper colony was. Just that teeny-tiny piece of land. It's only three miles across, if I'm not mistaken. I don't have a better picture of it with me, but the lower part of it is cliffs. You can't really get out. The high mountains and cliffs serve as prison walls, and the only other place you can go to is the ocean. Rumors told that if you climb to the top of the steep cliffs you'd get shot. The lepers would rather face death then suffering. And there were more than just dozens of lepers there. Not all of them were well enough to walk around or play around either. Some of them just lay on mats on the ground, or in shacks made from the trees, or just by the ocean, just wanting to die already from everything they're suffering from. Others who were well enough to walk...were not so in a good place either. Yes, they were suffering, but think, any man, woman, or child who had leprosy was there. Some guys ran around hurting children and woman since there was nothing to do. Why shouldn't do these things anyway? Nobody cared about them. There was a motto of the leper colony: "Aole kanawai me keia wahi." Meaning, "In this place there is no law." Anyone could do anything. No one would stop them; the police can't do anything. The gun wasn't the worst fear, it was the disease. They'd gladly die than go through the effects of the disease. ...And the terrible thing was, the people could only see a priest once a year.
Once a year is clearly not enough to have Mass, confession, funerals, and all that, so that's where St. Damien comes in.

Think... Fr. Damien (Joseph de Veuster), was born and raised in Belgium (and if you look that up, it's practically on the other side of the world from Hawaii). He spoke Dutch (or was it Flemish?). Half of his sibings responded to God's calling (priesthood & religious life), and when it was his turn, there was the usual problem of him supposed to be inheriting the farm and his dad's job, and things like that. But after some time, he did enter the seminary (Sacred Hearts).
Hmm... yes, he did go off in the middle of the woods and pretend to be a hermit/saint, give his food to the bullies (& willingly, too), love hearing saint stories, and did his best to work at home, but... he wasn't exactly the top student at the seminary. If it wasn't for his older brother who helped him with his schoowork, then... And he wasn't very famous in Belgium either. He was 'just another seminarian trying to get through his studies'... He had a temper, but good thing God gave that to him otherwise I'm not sure how he could've survived in Moloka'i! He struggled with Latin, but with the grace of God, he was able to get through, barely.

Anyway, so the Sacred Hearts community hears about this news about the islands which is on the other side of the world. No, the superiors didn't pick young seminarian Joseph, but rather, his older brother. The future Fr. Damien wasn't ordained a priest at that time. ...Well, the thing is, his brother got sick with this terrible plague that was going through the area. Too weak to go, he was beginning to worry about his missionary trip to Hawaii. With a voluntary spirit, young seminarian Joseph asked to go take his place. There was a "...What?!" from his superiors. Joseph wasn't ordained yet. In fact, he was struggling with his Latin! They give a straight NO. But Joseph didn't give up. On fire with the holy zeal to work for Christ, he kept asking for this opportunity to go and live out this missionary life.

I always like to think about it in this way...lol, I'm not sure if this really was the case, but still... It's like Fr. Damien was avoiding his homework that he wanted to go halfway around the world to escape it's clutches or something :P

Anyway, of course in the end Joseph de Veuster got his way. ....Now, you can imagine the shock he got from his parents...Will they ever see their beloved son again...? But Joseph would carry his parents in his heart. He would bring their love with him to this, and share the fatherly love to the people of Hawaii...in whoever he would meet.
Off he went to an unknown place, leaving his beloved mother, father, sibs, and home behind...
Now, if it were me, I'd be sick in the stomach at this decision. I wonder how he got the courage to volunteer himself and say, "I wanna go!!" to an unknown place and situation where he may never see his family again. Sometimes it goes that way too...we can't just sit around and wait for that call we imagine (the angels start blowin' their trumpets and you hear God's voice loud and clear... stuff like that) We need to jump and say "Take me! Take me!" Fr. Damien had that voluntary spirit, an excelent example for today's world. Hm...:) Because of Fr. Damien's example, if God's ever calling me to do something like that, I'd still probably be sick in the stomach... but instead of trembling with fear & worry, I'd be trembling with excitement 'cause God comes along with me!

So there he goes... taking not days, but weeks to get here to Hawaii. Storms came and went as the boat remained focused on gettin' to these islands in the middle of nowhere... I wonder if they got super seasick or anything...

But yes, with God's might protection, they got to Hawaii safely, after a tiring journey. They arrived at the island of Hawaii of O'ahu, in Honolulu. Here's a map so you don't have to check again...unless you have a better one.



Yes...as you might've guessed the one with the most population is O'ahu, and 'south-ish' red part is Honolulu. That's where the Cathedral where Fr. Damien was ordained. But it obviously wasn't this populated around his time.

Ever so joyfully, he was ordained a priest in the Cathedral of Our Lady of Peace in Honolulu, which is just a few blocks away from the sea. He was ordained in a strange place, a place where none of his family was, yet he was completely satisfied and delighted because there and everywhere he went to was where God was.

Now... you might think 'and here comes the part where he aids the lepers' ...right? No...he actually spent about 6 years in a parish in the Big island (the big island on the right). There, he prepared for the greatest challenge that God had planned for him... Moloka'i.

Like I said earlier, being sent to Molokai was the worst death sentence - worst than death itself. The Bishop took notice of the terrible circumstances there, so he decided to do something about it. Back in Honolulu, the Bishop and another priest gathered Fr. Damien and his Sacred Hearts community and talked to them about what was going on in Moloka'i. Now, the original plan was to pick five (or three?) priests to send to Moloka'i to take turns to aid the people for three (or five) months. And yes, again, Fr. Damien, with that volutary spirit of his, offered to go. Fr. Damien was the one chosen to establish a parish among the lepers.
Before leaving, the Bishop gave direct orders to Fr. Damien..."DON'T TOUCH THE LEPERS." They knew that if they did, they would surely catch the disease and be just as miserable as the rest of them. :(

So off Fr. Damien went, from Honolulu to Moloka'i by boat. He was shocked by how the people needed help... people where dying everywhere... A little girl came up to him one time and said she was so afraid of the wild pigs eating her body after she died. There was so much work to do. The church wasn't exactly all set up for him.
I love this part in the movie about him... when a young boy asks if he could be his altarserver, and Fr. Damien decides to shake the boy's hand. The boy gives him a '...What??' look but smiles as they shake hands.

...And so begins his mission :)
I'll post up a part 2 sometime... this time about what he did, and where Joseph Dutton & Mother Marianne comes in... ;)

PS~ On Nov 1st, All Saints' day, there will be a relic procession of St. Damien after the 12noon Mass at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Peace in Honolulu. I am sooo excited about this! :D Hawaii will finally have a saint and an actual relic... Parts of the Cathedral have already been renovated, but I can't wait to see the result! I PROMISE I will post a pic of it as soon as possible!! (whenever possible comes... :P :)

First few days of October...

I know, can you believe it's October already?!!? Time goes by way too fast!

Sorry I missed posting about St. Therese, the Guardian angels, and St. Francis!! I didn't even get to start a novena this year... I was too busy preparing the music for the Masses at my parish, since the choir director isn't here...
Ack, anyway...

St. Therese...Guardian angels...then St. Francis. Seems like those three days are to celebrate and/or think about being childlike. I mean, doesn't it sound like the Guardian Angel prayer is being said by a kid? And St. Therese, wow, she's like the patroness of how to become a saint in your daily life. Little sacrifices each day + lots of love in it x 2 = St. Therese's little way of getting to heaven as a child.
Remember, it's childlike, not childish (that would be just ridiculous :P )
Then the awesome & famous St. Francis... wait, famous?! I thought his goal was to be humble and childlike...?! Um, well, there's this weird joke I made up about St. Francis being the patron saint of our little brothers and sisters... because they can be animals and belong in a zoo. :P Though I suppose only the kids who are the oldest in the family would get it :)
You know how sometimes there's something so necessary in life that we don't realize it until we're lost without it? Like water, or faith, for example. Virtues, of course. And humility... the 'super power' to being childlike in our faith. We all need that ability. St. Francis was a pro at it amoung several who were 'not-so-good' at it, so... look at the results. He's like, one of the first saints that come to our mind when someone says the word 'saint'. But do we really follow his example in everything?
Back to St. Therese... We all know about her little way (mostly, anyway). Do you know someone who's 'humorous' in their own way that they even laugh at their own jokes, and only someone close to that person could get it? I defeintely know a person. She laughs at her own jokes all the time, and me & my sibs are left with this expression on our faces: O_o
I think she is that sort of person. Not exactly someone who laughs at his or her own jokes, but such a childlike person in Christ that they see the joy in all things. She saw the joy in making sacrifices. Her love and joy was twice as great than her sacrifices. Kinda like those "<" signs in math. Sacrifices (<) Love & joy for Christ
I think her love for Christ, shown in her sacrifices, was more important to Jesus than her actual sacrifice. If we do sacrifices with no meaning & offering it to Jesus at all, then that would be pretty lame, because that would be totally pointless. We might ask, "Why in the world did St. Therese do it that way??" She might answer, "Well, I saw that the way to heaven was like climbing a gigantic mountain, so big that I felt like a grain of sand... So I decided to take a little steps at the time." And sure enough, she got there.
Ever heard that little kid song, "Big steps, little feet?" Maybe not... but here's the lyrics:

I've got big steps, little feet
I've got big steps, little feet
I may be small, but HE live in me
I've got big steps little feet!

Yeah. We're all kids. Looking at the top of the pillars where the saints stand, it seems like it's totally impossible to get there too. (No, there's no elevator! :P ) (I like to think of it this way) But there is a way. St. Therese found the back stairwell. :P :) But here's the catch... it's one of those filled up jumpy-castle-little-kid-thingies where you've got crouch down, jump, run, and not look down. Our love for Jesus is the air in the jumpy-castle thing. Without the air, it gets harder, and so much enjoyable :( And Mary is like the mommmy who tells you where, what to do, and how to do it, so that you could go home already! You'd better pay attention to her!! :)

Anyway,You've got to crouch down - bring your pride dowwwnn. Jump, to reach out because God's up there, and we're obviously not tall enough - we know that! & run, just like St. Paul says (I just love that part of his letters! :) ). It's like a marathon, but you're still on the bouncy part of it. Yeah, who cares about who gets there first?! Just finish the thing!! :D Then not look down. Jesus said something similar about that too, in the Gospel a few days ago. "Whoever puts a hand on the plow and looks back, is not fitting for the Kingdom of Heaven."
You all know what happens we look down if we climb a ladder or something... scarryyy... 0_0 Yep! So that's what Jesus said. Don't look back. You might crash into something or fall down! All the kids know that.
...So yeah. That's my imaginitive version of St. Therese's little way. :)

Oh, and by the way... you need to wear socks on the 'jumpy castle' (little way to heaven). (Guardian angels :) ) They really help a lot, even though you may not realize it!