Broken hearts?

...just one of those moments when you're feeling kind of down, and then in the middle of Mass, your mind kind of clings on to a word or phrase the priest says, and then, well, a chain of thoughts begin to collide.

Anyway, this is going to be somewhat of a blog update as well...along with yet another mini-reflection. :)

First of all, there have been a lot of changes going on with me and my family. Some I love, and some...well, I'd rather not be best friends with. :P I can't exactly say what they are, but I'll continue on anyway. Let's just say that my sibs and I are growing up, my parents are working harder to support the family, and the world is giving me this weird stare that says, "Hi there. You're a teenager! Welcome to the world!" Right now I'm giving the world a sour look. I'm really relieved that I'm homeschooled, but I know now that being homeschooled doesn't change the fact that we're going to grow up, live according to what morals and important stuff we've learned, and yes, work in the world. Being homeschooled definitely, I would say, changes the color of my life to a different shade that defines me, and not who the world defines me as. (did that make sense?) I get that feeling that I've been watching the world with wide eyes in a binoculars, and then the world kind of jumped at me and kind of made the binoculars hit the areas around my eyes, and now there are marks and now it's laughing at me.
Okay, I'll leave that there otherwise my mind might wander off aimlessly. ;) :)

Okay...um, right, broken hearts. Lately, I've been dealing with 'brokenness of heart'. Teenage drama. Something that I never thought I'd get my face into. :P Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about broken hearts. Not much fun at all (the topic, not the conversation...). We were both feeling down for a number of reasons, but somehow, we managed to get by with the grace of God. Thinking about it made me come to some sort of conclusion: 'it takes more than one to repair a broken heart.'
Which is true sometimes, when you think about it. Brokeness comes in many forms. It can come in disappointment in yourself or others, loss of someone you care about...or just plain brokeness when the world seems to tell you that God has left you alone.

It's painful to pick up the broken pieces and walk alone, fearing that if you put it back together, it'll just break again. But that's what good friends are for. Friends and family are there to hold the pieces of your heart together so that God can heal it. They can help pick up the pieces and remind you what your heart is made out of, and Who made it. "Big hearts fall hard" I like to think of it that way. :) If your heart shattered hard, then you must've had a pretty big heart.
Some days ago, I stumbled upon this quote, "Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest - it's about who came and didn't leave your side." Many friends will join you arm in arm when your road is filled with flowers, rainbows, and sunshine. Few others will accompany you through the dark woods and stony steep paths. I'm sad to admit that I've been there - as one of those friends who would only join if the road looks promising. Those friends whom I've left alone had the unfortunate experience of being pushed away when they were trying to a true friend to me, and were rewarded by walking their steep paths alone. And now they've learned not to ask for help when feeling down.
We've all had our ups and downs in life. Thankfully, I was able to resolve the most part of the matter and now I'm back to being a true friend (at least trying to :) ) to another who experienced a broken heart for a while. (He's okay now :) )
But yeah...don't be afraid to ask God to help. That's beautiful humility right there, asking for help like a child who needs his/her mother or father.

Another thing I wanted to add...Everyone has felt a little bit of brokeness in their lives. Even Jesus.
During Mass, when the priest said the word 'broken' at the altar, it made me think...Our hearts break for something very special. They break because of something that ties in with love. Jesus' Heart broke and bled for us all over and over again. Can that sort of love make our hearts break for Him? If you imagined yourself at the crucifixion of Our Lord...would your heart break at the sight? HIS heart breaks everytime we go or do something wrong. Or if we can't somehow feel or see Him. Or if we're going through tough times and crying. Just know that He holds you in His arms everytime that happens.

I'm still coping with these changes - growing up is tough, I admit it - I'm not superhuman or anything. No one is. Everyone feels pain and confusion. Everyone thinks a lot and wear smiley masks. And not everybody loves changes.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept changes...the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference." ~Anonymous

That's a part of one of my favorite quotes ever. :) It's helped me a lot during these times. I pray that it helps anyone out there who's dealing with changes, too. :) Sometimes it's something we have to learn...the experience I suppose, can be quite worth it. Just remember that you don't have to go through brokeness alone. God's always there, and He's more than willing to send you an angel to help you get by your pain! :)

(btw...I know, totally off-topic here, but I set up a poll on my sidebar...and I'd really appreciate it if you could please vote! :) )

Smile!

Hmm......Well, I noticed it was getting a little quiet here, so I've decided to write up a little thought/reflection thingy. I was looking through a bunch of quotes about smiles that made me think...

"Smile! It's the 2nd best thing you can do with your lips." -by Whoo Noes(? really, I don't know...) :P :)
Ever heard of that saying before? ...You know, I've always wondered what the first best thing was... :P Well, I'm not going to talk about that, so let's just move on, shall we?

‎"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." ~Mother Teresa
I have to say that I absolutely love this quote. Her way of life basically is a smile! She's so sweet to say something like this, even going through a 'night of darkness' - and that's not much fun at all.

"Wear a smile - one size fits all!" -Anonymous
Yes, everyone can smile. It's not that hard. We don't have to feel it all that happiness to smile. It's healthy for you. And healthy for everyone around you. Who knows, maybe it will impact someone's life. So smile, or else.

I like to think of smiles as little flowers or colors. Especially when it comes from the heart. They can brighten up your life and mood, and even make the world seem like a better place. But a lot of times (and I mean A LOT), we take them for granted, and don't see them as something wonderful. And then forget about them. And that forgetfulness is sad.
I have a few friends who are one of those 'happy - not happy - happy-and-then-not-happy' people...and well, I think we all do (I think we can even be some of them...well, you know what I mean). :) It's amazing how a smile can re-ignite the flame of hope in people's hearts. It's like a silver-lining, a hug, a pat on the back, but all of that in just one simple smile.

Also...a smile is like grace. It's contagious, passing from person to person - like grace, if you pray for one person, they may be led to pray for another person, or like that commercial (State Farm, I think it was?) when one person helps another, and a witness is moved to help someone else. It's like that.

It's also like a painting too. I'm one of those people who really appreciate art and would stare at European paintings (especially religious paintings) for a long time and try to find the story behind it. What I really enjoy seeing though, is the effort that people put into it. A lot of painters get paid to paint something - and some of them can be kinda weird - but when they paint from the heart, it's just beautiful beyond words. Even if it's just a kid drawing. They put effort into it to show that they care. Smiling shows that people care and put their effort in to show it.
I also love to imagine some of those scenes in the Gospel (try to figure out the one I've thought of ;) ) where I see Jesus smiling as he says something really bizarre and confusing to the people (well, it must've been 'out of the blue' back then), as if Jesus knew what was going to happen in the future and could just see inside people's hearts. Then there's another time when I imagine he must've been smiling at the old suffering woman who touched his cloak to be healed - he must've knew how she felt. That's another 'facet' of smiling. We smile because we know and care. When you can't think of the words to say how much you care, just smile. Next time you drop by the Chapel or Blessed Sacrament at your parish, give Jesus a smile when you can't think of any words to say.

Okay, well, that's my little thought for the day. There's a lot that I could add, but that's all there is on my mind right now. :) I bet a person could fill up a whole book about smiles... But anyway thanks for putting up with my random thoughts! :)

Quick post...

And yes, I mean a really quick post. (I am a bit exhausted as I type this...) Here's a pic of the Daughters of St. Paul Motherhouse in Boston, where my 'sis and I spent an entire week. ^_^ ♫ ♥ ♫ I haven't uploaded a lot of them in my computer yet, so...I promise I will get to post more about it in the future (however near that may be...) :) But I hope you all have been having an awesome summer so far!! =D I know I have.

...

Gosh, it's almost been two months since my last post. Time flies by so fast!

Anyway, to reward you for actually visiting this blog, here's a pic I managed to take of the relic of St. Damien of Molokai. Yes, they actually opened the box on his feastday! His feastday is now an actual recognized 'day' by the state of Hawaii. Apparently they're working on having it as a state holiday...that would be sooo cool even though I won't have a day off from school. :)

Anyway, believe it or not, homeschooling life is really busy-like. But we've got daily Mass, so everything's all good. :)

There's been a lot of changes in life lately, and lots of stuff planned for the rest of the year.
One of them is that...My older 'sis and I are going to Boston for the St. Paul Summer Program again! Hurray!! ^_^ We leave around next week, so please (pretty please with whipped cream and powdered sugar and a cherry on top!) keep us in your prayers! We'll also be staying a week in CA to visit our aunts. I shall post pics when I come back!! (that is, if we do come back...lol, I'm just kidding. :)

And ouch, well, I'm still getting over the fact that the year is just about half over. I sincerely hope it has been going slower for you. :)
Thanks for putting up with me readers! (If there are any of you left...)

"Your Love is a Song"

Here's a nice song that I've been listening to lately...entitled: Your Love is a Song, by the Christian band Switchfoot. (They also did a song for Chronicles of Narnia!)
We can't receive God's love to the fullest unless we open our minds, eyes, and hearts to Him. And when we do, His Love will carry us away like the most beautiful of melodies. ^_^ ♫

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! :)

Happy Easter!!!!

Haaaaappy Easter dear readers!!!!! Yaaayyyy!!!! Hope you are feeling Christ's amazing love for you in a very special way!!!!

Here comes Holy Week....

What do you do? Panic because you're not ready? Or rejoice because of the fact that Lent is almost over?
You're ALMOST there!!! :D Whoo hoo, I'm praying for you!
Did you actually count 40 days from Ash Wednesday? Sundays are not included in the 40 days, so your finger (if you're actually counting right now) should stop somewhere around Holy Week. Yep! Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday are not a part of Lent. *gasp!* But it definitely doesn't mean that you can eat whatever you want and start rejoicing. Remember, Lent is a PREPARATION for His Passion, Death, and Resurrection.
So what do we do for Holy Week? Do we hold our breaths? Count silently until Easter comes around with wide eyes? We're not supposed to really think about Easter yet - look forward to it yes, but not celebrate it yet. Doesn't mean that you need to stay up on Saturday night and wait until 12:00am to start boiling eggs, going on raids to the grocery store to stack up on candies & goodies and plastic eggs and such.
I think the best thing to do for Lent, especially if you live a truly hectic life (like me :P ) is to keep silent. In honor of Jesus' Passion, Death and Resurrection. You can refrain from babbling on the phone, ranting with your friends, or something like that. But during Holy Week (that is, if you didn't do this during the entire Lent), offer up your silence for the distracting noises and misuse of music, audio, and conversation. Think about how silent JESUS was when he carried the cross. Remember He asked why people were against him even when he already told them a gazillion times that he was from God? He didn't ask why those very same people were persecuting him now. Instead of telling someone to stop annoying you with their bickering (like a fly that just won't get out of the house), listen to them, and pray for them. It's not easy. I remember reading something about this guy asking Padre Pio if the Wounds of Christ on his hands hurt. Well, of course they hurt! He said that they were holes in his hands.

But it's admitting that your pain hurts, admitting that it's not easy, and admitting that you can't do this without God - that's true humility. Humility (and I like to think it this way) is like asking a hug from Jesus.

Well, until Easter! Keep your eyes on Jesus - the finish line! ^_^

ultra awesome pic source

Happy Feastday of St. Joseph!

I posted this last year...I think. Anyway, here's something special for St. Joseph's Feastday :) Pics source from patron saints index

P.S. I put up a new (well, not really new, it's been there and I realized I never mentioned it) poll on the sidebar. If you could, it'd help me a lot if you could vote (pretty please? ^_^ ). Thanks!

"So....How are we holding up??" :D Lenten Reflection

The title says it all.
We're just about halfway! Yay! That means we can eat our seconds and all the goodies we want soon!! :P
Actually, Lent has been going waaay too fast for me. It's always been like that for us. You must be thinking 'yeesh, good for you' but that's not what's exactly in my head right now. How am I 'enjoying' Lent? I wouldn't put it that way, but Lent comes by every year, and you're bound to get used to it. What?? Used to it?! You're not supposed to get used to Lent! Well, not the 'used' that I'm thinking of.

Think of Lent this way: You know how a special visitor/relative comes to visit you, and you make sure to set aside most of your time to spend with that person? Sacrifice a ton of things to be with that person? Even eating other kinds of food when? Lent is a LOT like that. It's time for that 'extra' time with Jesus.

Though I must say this though...Why oh why does the food cooked in the house have to be soooo good, during LENT of all times???? For example, my older sister made salmon cooked in butter with chives and lemon. It was mouth-watering. Seriously. And then for Friday, Dad cooked tilapia (fish) in vinegar with tomatoes and onions on the side, then last Friday he made one of my absolute favorites: SHRIMP SCAMPI. You know, it was kind of hard not to fast....but there you go, another thing to 'offer up!' :)

Btw, this blog was mainly written for the youth/young adults section, but I'm glad that regular adults are reading this too. :) Anyway, forgive me for getting off-topic for a bit, but here's a part for the young ones....about fasting. I have a 12-year-old brother, who's feet are as long as a foot (that's 12 in. btw, and he uses size 13-14 shoes), and he's almost 6 ft. Tell me about it. And I'm not even 5 ft...so...imagine. People always get the impression that I'm 13 years old.
Anyway, he's one of those kids who get seriously inspired after watching saint movies and try to copy their every move after watching them. (*sigh*...if only we could all do that 24/7 :) And, he also likes acting like a teenager, which he's not so good at. Okay, forgive me for hopping around here, but let's go on to a different topic for now. :)
As you (should) know, the Baltimore Catechism (or whatever you're reading) says that once you're 15, you are obliged to abstain from eating meat on Fridays and days of abstinence. For fasting, the ages are 18-59. Why 18, you may ask? Well, the Church would definitely not like to starve you to death and deprive you of your nutrition when you are still growing. For my brother for example, he's tall, but he's still growing. No fasting for him. And I mean healthy meals, not candy and whatnot. Kids can give up all the candy and sweets they want - you're not gonna die without them - but food? Please don't starve yourself to death. I beg of you. Especially if you're having your growth spurt, are very into sports etc...It's not very plesant to faint during activities, I can tell you that.
I fainted twice before - both in not very good situations. :( But yes, I fainted because I skipped breakfast (this was because I was reaaally little back then) and fainted during Mass at a park I felt queasy during the Our Father, then dropped down. All I wanted to do was sleeeep. Food was not very interesting.
Another time was when I skipped lunch because I had an hour gymnastic class at 12pm. I was the only student (thank goodness) at that class, so I was spared embarrassment from my fellow classmates. I fainted after the first 15 minutes of warm up. And YES. This was during Lent. My mom had to dash out of the gym and into the food court nearby, buy a chocolate bar and a full bottle of water, and come back. She gave me the water, which I accepted gratefully, but the chocolate bar...? I was like, 'No thanks, Mom. I gave up sweets for Lent - you know that.' But she gave me this look that screamed "EAT IT." So I ate it. It was disgustingly sweet. I'm not even sure if they sell those things anymore - this chocolate crunch bar with caramel inside. I ate half of it and was ready to go back to sleep. My teacher must've been totally weirded out that I didn't want to eat the chocolate. :P Oh well. Thankfully, I've survived the next 30 min. of gymnastic lessons. So far, I'm the only kid in the family who's ever fainted before, let alone twice. :P Not very proud of that fact...I still need to make sure I eat something sweet if I'm feeling queasy again.
I really hope you've gotten the point of this story. I think the reason you see and read the saints (when they were little, I mean) is because they don't exactly have video games to give up. Haha, I mean, it's their effort that we have to learn from, right? :P I'm pretty sure the Church was thinking of the little ones and their growth when they made sure that the age for fasting wasn't until 18. (Now now, it doesn't mean you can eat all you want! :P )I don't think I need to explain why aged 60+ people don't need to fast.
OK...moving on.

If you're unable to fast, there's plenty of other things you can do. Give up extra food, like chips, candy, sweets, and whatnot. If you're aching for a snack, eat a banana, nuts, or even banana nut bread :D hehe...you get the message. Something healthier. And offer it up! It's not like you have to be completely full after a snack or a meal.

Here's another point I'd like to stress, if you don't mind. If you're utterly deprive of just about everything, (like me and my sibs) :P And I mean video games, fiction books, extra computer time (computer writing/research for school and homework are OK. nice try! :P ;) Try to walk an 'extra mile.' Be nice to someone who's not very nice to you. And if you think that might cause something worse (like this person might get the wrong idea) do it in secret. Do a deed for that person, or if it's entire impossible because s/he lives far away, pray for that person. In big families, this isn't much of a problem. Wash the dishes for your mom or dad, or if you split chores with your brother/sister, do your siblings' half. "A little progress each day," a friend in Heaven once said (I forget his name though). Not sure if cleaning up your siblings' rooms would be a good idea though. They might get the wrong idea in thinking you're snooping around...:P :) If you're the only kid around, do something for your parents. :)

Another point I'd like to stress. Adoration, or simply sitting/kneeling in Church would be awesome during Lent. Take some time off of prayer for a moment, like offering up a rosary or intentions and all that, and just take the time to listen. It's not very nice to say to your parents 'I need this, I want that, this person needs your help so please help him/her, oh and btw, thanks for this and that' and then just cut off the conversation. Don't get me wrong, Jesus is a very good listener! But how can a servant do his or her duty without knowing what the Master wants? Empty your mind, close your eyes (this is hard, but I find that it really helps) and open your heart and ears to whatever message he might have in store for you. A saint said something like, 'Let me hear You with the ears of my heart' or something like that. You may or may not hear a loud voice speaking to you, but it's like sweet music. You'll find the meaning in your heart, not your mind. A bible verse or two might pop up as well. Maybe Jesus wants you to think about what he's said before. Kind of like a reminder from parents :)

Another thing for kids: If you've got an iPod, that'd be the perfect thing to give up. Offer it for the many people in the world who trash music and do not use their gifts and talents to spread goodness and hope. If you can't survive without music (like me - it keeps the gears in my brain turning ^_^ ) then at least make a playlist with all the Christian/Catholic music, and listen to that for Lent. Actually, it's not a bad sacrifice at all. I know some pretty good artists, if you like rock, there's Skillet, Red, Fireflight... And if you do not happen to have an iPod, then by all means, listen to some meditation music to go along with your reflections, while praying, reading a book about a saint, while writing in your journal and all those kids of stuff. Life would be sooo much cooler with background music, right? :) Or, if you're a musician nerd, practice some Christian/Praise 'n worship songs on the piano, guitar, violin, etc. If you somehow cannot do that because of certain reasons (eg, your piano teacher wants you to play a non-religious related song), then practice whatever it is you must play, but on Fridays, play religious music. Unless you've got lessons on Fridays....offer your playing to Jesus! He'd like that alot. :)

For Holy week, try to refrain yourself from using the computer or ranting on the phone. It's just one week. No big deal. You've got Jesus to help you with that, so I don't think it'd be too hard. After all, this is kind of like the wrapping paper on the present you give to Jesus, yeah?

Of course, it is ENTIRELY up to you what you are giving up/doing for Lent. These are just a few suggestions that I thought of. No one's going to force you to do these things. :) Keep it to yourself or tell whatever it is you're doing to the whole world - just remember that it should come from your heart not your mind or the admiration of the other people. It's Jesus everyone should be focused on. Anyway, scroll down to my Advent post for more stuff to read - Lent is a lot like Advent, I can tell you that.

So...I hope you have a VERY blessed and fruitful Lent! :) Keep up the good work - we're JUST ABOUT halfway there!!!! :D I'll be keeping you in my prayers!!

pic source

Preparing for Lent

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted...busy, busy, busy :) Okay, enough of that...

So, preparing for Lent...
That's what I said; Lent. I know...'Lent already?!! I thought it was still Christmas...' Then the dreaded feeling comes over you...right?
I won't lie; I kinda feel the same too. Kinda sad...that time goes by waaay too fast. Then you'd have to think of your Lenten Resolutions. You're either excited, or not so excited.
Now, don't go thinking that when you fast, you're aiming to lose weight. Think, are you thinking of the benefit of your body, or your soul? Hmm...
Okay, moving on. We're thinking about preparing for Lent. Just as we are to be prepared for Holy Week, Easter, Christmas, and all that, I think it's a good idea to prepare for Lent as well. Lent can be the hardest. Advent is different. Advent seems 'happy-ish' and exciting. Even people outside of Church are preparing and celebrating Christmas along with you. ...What about Lent? Nu-uh. Is there a not-so exciting feeling...? Well...you'd probably really really want to lose that, and face Lent with a prayerful attitude.
Try to get past that feeling. Just as you try to get past that feeling of stress during the Advent time when you're thinking about your route of shopping stores to use your coupons.

Anyway, here's what I would suggest to prepare yourself for Lent.
-Go to confession. Yes, I know. You will already eventually go to confession before holy week, but not before Lent. Try it. Try going before Lent, just to prepare yourself. You know that feeling after receiving the Sacrament of Penance, you can finally breathe again? Why not?
-Adoration. At a nearby Church or Chapel, ask Jesus to be with you during this upcoming Lenten Season. Ask him to be with you during tough times. Jesus has been with you through joy and sorrow, why won't you be with HIM from the joyful celebration to the celebration of his death? You've got to follow Him through it all!! :D And even if the visit is just for five minutes...Jesus cherishes every moment with you.
-Plan to attend Daily Mass. Now, my family and I have attended daily Mass for almost 6 years straight. You know how that started? Lent. One day, Mom came to us and suggested Daily Mass as to be part of our Lenten Schedule. At first, we were all, 'eeehh...okay...' And somehow, even after Lent, we kept going because we all fell in love with the Eucharist. Okay, even if you can't get past the hour on Sunday (Homily is too long and I almost fell asleep, terrible parking XP) don't forget that the Eucharist is food for the SOUL. There's a banquet, or a party everyday at Jesus' house. You're always invited, but who likes an invited visitor who just dwadles around in the house as if they were forced to attend?
-Bring a missal/Magnificat to Mass. Now THAT always helps if your mind always wanders off during the Readings. I think most of us have a tendency to immediately forget the 1st Reading. And then during the 2nd, we think random thoughts like, 'Boy, St. Paul can really think of long sentences.' To prevent that, look up on EWTN or another Catholic website that provide the Readings for every Mass. Read and reflect on those readings, so that the next day at Mass (no I'm not going to say you're free to wander off) you are fully prepared.
-Pray the Rosary and/or Divine Chaplet. Or any other prayers you'd like to say. Rosary is on top of the list. :) While praying, try playing a soft and gentle meditation hymn (no words, just music) so that your mind isn't somewhere else and your lips are just opening and closing... Imagine the scenes in your head too. Imagine that you are there when Jesus was in the Temple preaching and his parents rush forward to take him home, or pretend you are one of the Diciples of Jesus and you are listening to his Word, or pretend you are one of the onlookers as Jesus passes by with the Cross in his arms.
-Pray a novena to a favorite saint.

That's all I have for today, (no, you're supposed to do that during Lent too, not just before :P) but if you have any more suggestions, feel free to comment.

ultra awesome image source ^_^